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Kindness Matters

It Is Better To Give Than To Receive. 

The above statement has always been how I have felt. It’s so easy for me to offer to help anyone who is need of it. I might not be able to heal their medical problems, make their sorrow go away or heal a broken heart. However; if they allow me to cook for them, keep them company or run an errand to lighten their load at least I feel like I helped. It’s not so easy for me to be on the receiving end of this. I don’t like to burden others with my needs and knowing that, hubby Tom gave me a little pep talk about allowing people to help us during my recovery time. I have to remember that if I let our family and friends help it takes some of the pressure off hubby Tom having to perform as a super hero!

 I have this cute little sign in my kitchen.

 Foot surgery took place bright and early on Wednesday morning. The prep started at 6:00 am and I was in the OR by 7:00. We were greeted by the nicest group of nurses both male and female. My surgeon was chipper and upbeat as well and we had a good feeling going into surgery. It took about and hour to perform bunion surgery and a metatarsal osteotomy on the second toe. Surgery went well. As usual I had a bad reaction to anesthesia even though they did everything they could to prevent it. I still had severe nausea and spent double the time in recovery before I was stable enough to ride home. Kindness matters – the care and concern of the nursing staff was amazing. The follow up call the next morning was a nice touch. Thankfully hubby Tom has good bedside manner and the patience to deal with a highly medicated, slightly crabby, slow moving, nauseous patient. He spent my first night at home sleeping on the blow up mattress so he could be near me as I attempted to sleep on the couch. He set the alarm so he could give me pain meds every 4 hours – what a trooper! Each day presents a new learning curve as we figure out how to bathe me without getting my foot wet, washing my hair in the kitchen sink while I lie on the kitchen counter and what pant legs will fit over the heavily wrapped foot. We end up laughing quite a bit at the predicaments that we find ourselves in. Laughter is good medicine.

Pre – surgery photo showing a lot of calcification on the joint of the big toe. The second toe metatarsal bone is longer than the others which causes the weight to all be shifted to the second toe instead of the big toe. This mechanical issue was causing inflammation and pain on the underside of my foot which felt like I was walking on a marble. It also was causing the second toe to draw up and well on it’s way to becoming a hammer toe. I was diagnosed with capsulitis of the second toe.

 Post surgery, the calcification has been removed, the second metatarsal bone has been shortened and now has a screw holding it in place. The hope is that now the weight will be placed under the big toe where it belongs and I won’t feel like I’m walking on a marble. The big toe should be straightened out and less painful. Shoes will fit again! Yippe on that.

I am allowed to put my weight on my foot as long as I have the special shoe on, but I only get up if I have to as it starts to swell immediately so right now propping my foot is a priority. I can’t get the foot or the bandages wet – not easy to bathe but we have figured out how to make it work. Note that the second toe is now shorter than the big toe – so strange to see it look like this!

The roasted vegetable galette that daughter Katy made for us. Beautiful and delicious. Recipe coming soon. Daughter Katy has been here several days, cooking for us, attending to my personal needs and keeping me company. She is such a wonderful cook and fearless when it comes to trying new recipes. I am quite happy to be one of her taste testers!

Mom and dad sent a fabulous Edible Arrangement with chocolate dipped pineapple, berries, apples, grapes and sweet melon slices to round it all out. A little chocolate dipped fruit is good medicine! The chocolate dipped pineapple is one of my favorites – o0hh so good! This is one of the best gifts ever. It just screams happiness as you enjoy each delicious bite. I was a good girl and shared my treats.  Thanks Mom & Dad!

My friend Carrie came and stayed with me Friday morning. She was kept busy getting me pain meds, water, washing my eye glasses, putting on and taking off the ice pack AKA a bag of frozen peas – best ice pack ever. I’m not sure how coherent my end of the conversation went as I remember at times I couldn’t think of the right words to say! Pain drugs will do that to you. :) Thanks for the TLC Carrie! Days two and three post surgery were my worse days. Nausea came back with a vengeance and I could no longer tolerate the pain medication. Yesterday our friend Linda brought over a delicious dinner that hit the spot – complete with a bonus bag of homemade granola and mandarin oranges to be enjoyed at another time. Thank you Linda!

This morning I woke up craving eggs for breakfast. Hubby Tom scrambled an egg with some egg whites and chopped Canadian bacon served alongside a toasted sprouted Ezekiel English muffin. For lunch I was craving meat and salad greens so he happily grilled steaks, oven roasted broccoli and baked off some frozen scalloped potatoes. I sat at the table with my foot propped up on a chair and made a delicious tossed salad with pecans, Gorgonzola cheese, grapes, baby greens, chopped kale and fresh pear slices. For dessert we shared some frozen New York style cheesecake that hubby Tom thawed out. After days of eating saltine crackers it feels so good to eat real food. Thanks for the good eats Tom.

Today is a good day, I feel rather perky and thanks to hubby Tom for his help, I got my hair washed, dried and straightened. It took all morning to accomplish this one task but it made me feel like a million bucks! Thank you hubby Tom. :)

Text messages, emails, phone calls and comments here on the blog and the Nutmeg Notebook facebook page containing well wishes and prayers for healing have been pouring in and I thank all of you for your care and concern. I feel the love!

Although I still believe that, It’s better to give than receive - I also know, as my blog friend Sharon pointed out to me “It often means as much to the caregiver as the receiver”. Keeping this in mind I have not turned down any offers to help. You can teach an old dog new tricks!

Kindness Matters,

Tami

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Are you able to accept help from others?


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  1. Jane says:

    I’m glad you are doing better!! I hope that everything continues to get easier! PS That galette looks amazing!

    1. Tami says:

      Thank you Jane! The galette is amazing – tastes so gourmet.

  2. Lori says:

    Glad that you are through the surgery and doing better! Every day now is a day further out into recovery!

    1. Tami says:

      Each new day is one day closer to being normal again! :)

  3. Denise says:

    Tami, I wish you a speedy recovery. My Mother is recovering right now from foot surgery. It was an honor to help her and my Dad bringing them food and shopping for them. It is your turn. It also looks like you are in great hands. I agree that galette looks so good. I will be waiting for that recipe. Take it easy and get well soon!

    1. Tami says:

      Denise what a doll you were to cook for your parents while your mom recovers from surgery. Having a good meal already prepared is such a blessing.
      Thank you for the well wishes!

  4. Beth says:

    Tami, I’ve never posted on your site before, but recently started following your blog. I’m glad your surgery went well and I hope you recover well and soon! Thanks for all the wonderful healthy recipes. And that galette looks amazing! Can’t wait to see that one too. All the best! Beth

    1. Tami says:

      Welcome Beth. I am so glad to know you are enjoying the recipes. I enjoy sharing the good recipes and food finds that cross my path. I will have to get that galette recipe typed up soon. It would be a lovely meal to make for company! Thank you for the good thoughts and well wishes. :)

  5. Beverly says:

    Happy to hear surgery went well! Sounds like you have a good support system to help you through the recovery….nothing better than that! (PS It’s such a silly thing, but I have to thank you for the tip on sweet potatoes in the microwave…it’s my new favorite thing!! My husband thinks he’s going to overdose on them, but they are so yummy and it’s just so darn easy to make them!)

    1. Tami says:

      Thank you Beverly! You know sometimes its the easy cooking tips or recipes that we garner the most help from! So glad the easy microwave cooking of sweet potatoes works so well for you. I like quick and easy! I do have a great support system for my recovery and I know that it helps me heal quicker.

  6. Amanda, RD- The Nutritionist Reviews says:

    Hi Tami,

    Thanks for commenting on my blog. I prefer squash your way too but in a pinch, the microwave works well. It is great chopped into bite sized pieces and roasted.

    That fruit basket looks delicious!

    Amanda

    1. Tami says:

      I would agree that in a pinch the microwave works wonders for squash and potatoes! Sometimes we need quick and easy! Thanks for stopping by my blog. :)

  7. Leslie says:

    Hi Tami, I’m so glad to hear that your surgery went well and you’re on the road to recovery. I hope the healing is steady and relatively easy. How nice that your daughter is able to come and take care of her mom! I’ll bet it makes her feel as good as it does you!

    Take care – Leslie

    1. Tami says:

      Hi Leslie! It’s nice that we can switch roles and she can be a caregiver when needed! All those years of training the kids how to be kind and caring do pay off!

  8. Sharon says:

    So good to hear from you and know that each day gets better. Those pain meds can sometimes be worse than the pain itself!

    Having Rheumatoid Arthritis has made me more willing to accept help because sometimes there are things others do normally that I simply can’t do. But I also think it’s made me more sensitive to more readily see ways of helping others.

    Be patient with your recovery. This is going to take some time!

    1. Tami says:

      Hi Sharon. Me and pain pills don’t get along – I guess that’s a good thing!

  9. Miz says:

    the kindness shown YOU makes ME smile!!

    1. Tami says:

      Me too Miz!

  10. Helen says:

    Girl you know I totally feel you with the foot pain. I’m so sorry you had to deal with the anesthesia nausea for days but I’m hoping as you’ve been able to return to regular eating that it has subsided.

    So sweet that you have such good friends and your amazing Katie taking good care of you.

    “Patience is a virtue” is another saying you’ll need to remind yourself of as you wait and heal, says the impatient woman who probably should still be wearing her boot and won’t!

    1. Tami says:

      You are the pot calling the Kettle black when it comes to patience Helen!

  11. Karen@WaistingTime says:

    Isn’t it amazing what a little clean hair will do for us?! Best wishes for a very fast recovery. I’m find at accepting, mostly, but not good at asking. My husband did just “okay” when I had my hernia surgery. I know he’d not have minded doing more but it just wasn’t in his head.

    1. Tami says:

      Clean hair makes all the difference in the world. Katy came today and washed, blow dried and straightened my hair and it made me feel amazing!

  12. Renee@Mykitchenadventures says:

    so glad that is all behind you now!! Healing thoughts sent your way! I remember when I had foot surgery, not as complicated as yours (I had a cyst removed that was entwined in the nerve that runs along the top) frozen peas on my ankle and pain meds helped so much!

    1. Tami says:

      That foot surgery you had sounds anything but uncomplicated! Yikes! I do love my frozen peas for pain and swelling.

  13. janine says:

    so glad that you’re doing so well, tami. I’m so happy to see that you’re blessed with a wonderful group of friends and family to help you. It might be the pain meds–especially on an empty stomach–that are making you nauseous.
    Your tootsies look pretty darned good for less than a week out from surgery. The boot/shoe you’re wearing is the one I wore for 2 months–couldn’t walk without it. It made me happy to see that you could post again!

    1. Tami says:

      Lots of helpers around here this week! That’s a good thing. Otherwise I tend to overdo it. I am already sick of this special shoe!:)

  14. Cammy@TippyToeDiet says:

    Wishing you a speedy recovery, Tami!

    I’m not so good at asking for or receiving help, and I’m not sure why.

    1. Tami says:

      We are the independent types Cammy and not so happy to have to ask for help!

  15. Roz@weightingfor50 says:

    Hi Tami. VERY glad to read that the surgery went well. All the best to you from me while you heal. hugs

    1. Tami says:

      Thanks for the hugs Roz!

  16. Biz says:

    It’s hard for me to ask for help, but once I do, I am grateful. Glad you have such a great support system while you get back on your feet. Ha, pun intended! Hugs!

    1. Tami says:

      LOL at your pun Biz!

  17. Ann says:

    So glad that your surgery went well. I wish you a speedy recovery! Take care of yourself.

    1. Tami says:

      Thank you Ann its so good to see you posting again.

  18. Veronica says:

    I’m so glad to hear you made it through surgery and are on the road to recovery! That bone looks much better! And your toes are so cute, BTW. :) I recently read in a fiction book (The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry) where a character who had to rely on others for help had a realization that it was as much a gift to receive as to give, requiring both courage and humility. It is hard to accept help but just think how much you’re helping others by accepting it. It’s a wonderful circle that continues giving. :)

    1. Tami says:

      Thank you for sharing that Veronica, what a sweet of putting this to words! “It’s a wonderful circle that continues giving” I love that.

  19. Dr. J says:

    Yay!!!!

    Your toes look very cute in that photo :-)

    My mom was like you with receiving. Glad you are making strides in that area too :-)

    1. Tami says:

      I am a work in progress Dr J!

  20. Andrea@WellnessNotes says:

    Glad you are learning some new tricks! :)

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